Procrastination, fear and celebration of poetry

It's amazing how easy it is to rationalize procrastinating. I just popped into the market to buy some milk, and met Mrs. Ellis. She got me to throw trash into the barrel and reset the top, all the while telling me about how she was from Russia, and practiced medicine in Germany during WWII. She finished up by commanding me to go inside and get a broom and sweep up all the fallen flower petals, as the staff clearly wasn't taking care of the place.

1) What a character.
2) When I'm old, I want to be as annoying and charming and opinionated and independent as she is. Forget just wearing purple. I'm going for the full Monte.

We've started a blog with the Vermont College faculty. Here's my first post on fear (and inspiration) of poetry. I know if Lee Bennett Hopkins sees this post I'm going to catch hell, but he's busy with his own wicked facebook postings.....

Vermont College

My first few days home from Vermont were catch-up days. Lots of sleeping, letting things I learned percolate, walks in the hills with my beloved husband and dog, and long, leisurely meals with family and friends. Finally unpacked my suitcase, washed my clothes, and put everything away. Now I'm back to work on my own projects, feeling the press of deadlines, the excitement of using what I learned from other faculty.

We had a terrific ten days at Vermont College. Nonstop learning and laughing. Very little sleep. Somehow Coe Booth talked us into doing a flash mob rendition of Michael Jackson's thriller at the 80's party. I kept my sanity with walks every evening through the neighborhoods. Here's a photo of the old brick armory at dusk. I think someone lives there now.

And a few of my favorite remarks (somewhat paraphrased) from various speakers.

Walter Dean Myers: "We're building America, one child at a time."

Martine Leavitt: "I hope we'll be able to read in heaven, but just in case, make sure you read Cormac McCarthy's The Road before you die." And: "Take your main character's emotional desire and make it plotty."

Marc Aronson: "Illustration is its own story."

Franny Billingsley: "Abstract things are telling. Concrete things are showing."

Until next time, Montpelier, when the snow falls and the trudging outdoors is treacherous and beautiful.

John Lennon

Tonight on public television at 9 pm:

LennonNYC.

I am eager to see this film from American Masters. Several years ago I did a biography, John Lennon: All I Want is the Truth. I was amazed by Lennon. He was incredibly smart, well-read, and political. He had no tolerance for BS. His NYC time was an interesting part of his life. He was no longer a Beatle, and had to find out who he really was. New Yorkers generally treated him really well, saying hello when they saw him in a cafe, but not bothering him. The kind of anonymity you can only have in a big city.

There were two great resources for doing a bio. on him: lots and lots and lots of photos. I managed to get just over 100 into the book! And Lennon liked to find someone in the press he clicked with, and then he would sit down for extensive interviews with the reporter. It is almost like he used the interview as a way of exploring his own thoughts and feelings.

I'm sure I'll learn new things about him in this film. And mourn, all over again, his shocking murder.

The magic of Marching for Freedom launch and a Publishers Weekly interview

Some days are just amazing. I woke up feeling something special was happening, then remembered that today's the day. It's launch day for Marching for Freedom.

I had a great celebratory morning appearing at the Koret Auditorium in the San Francisco library with four other writers. Here's Lewis Buzbee talking with Zilpha Keatley Snyder, Summer Dawn Laurie (tireless coordinator who made all this work seamlessly) and Wendy Lichtman. I missed getting a photo of Hillary Homzie, who was the funniest of all of us, getting the kids rolling in the aisles with her story about how impersonating the Cookie Monster saved her from being mugged.

Our audience was 6-8th graders, who ranged from lively to snoozing (see photo) with one small, totally adorable, girl in Hello Kitty boots who sat listening intently with a stack of books beside her.

When I arrived home, I found an interview I'd done several weeks ago with Kathy Weeks was up on Publishers Weekly. I had so much fun doing this interview. Kathy asked me really compelling questions about the process of putting together the book. Thanks you Kathy for such a great interview and for pulling together so many strands!

Publishers Weekly interview.

Challenge of writing fiction

In high school I hung out with the theater/music/arts/protesting hippie crowd. These were a bunch of really interesting people. One thing we liked to do was get up into the wild hills above the city. If it was daytime we would hike. At night, we talked about big things -- the way the world was, what we wanted, how we would get there, what we hoped we could change. Lots of philosophizing. One of our group, Roo Borson, was an especially serious, deep thinker. Staring down into the bowl of the bay area one night at all the twinkling lights, she said, "have you ever imagined how many other ways your life could go? How many different possibilities there are? Infinite."

I was staggered.

Now, I think of Roo's sentences as I write a novel. The possibilities are infinite. I have some lovely, earnest, difficult characters, and who knows what they will do? How will they really feel and act when the going gets tough? This is where non-fiction writing is so much easier. Something really happened. My challenge with non-fiction is to do a good job with those facts, dig deep for how people really did react when the going got tough, and make it a fascinating read. There is a map.

With fiction, there's no map, just infinite possibilities. But today, I feel I may have found the right path, and I'm trusting my feet will find their way.

Beautiful, deep thinking Roo Borson has gone on to become an acclaimed poet. She continues to stare fearlessly into the infinitude and bring us back possibilities, wrapped up as poems.

Just how long does it take from idea to picture book?

The inspiration for Big Cat Pepper was my then-seven year old son, Willie, grabbing handfuls of rose petals and scattering them into the open grave on top of his favorite pet, Ratty Three.

Now a grad student in Evolutionary Ecology, Will has just co-published a paper in the ISME Journal: "Rhizobitoxine producers gain more poly-3-hydroxybutyrate in symbiosis than do competing rhizobia, but reduce plant growth

William C Ratcliff and R Ford Denison
Ecology, Evolution and Behavior, University of Minnesota, Minneapolis, MN, USA

Legume sanctions against rhizobia that fix less nitrogen should exert a strong selection for more beneficial genotypes of rhizobia, but strains providing little host benefit are common.... ISME Journal advance online publication, 9 April 2009; doi:10.1038/ismej.2009.38."

That's how long.

The Strand on BBC radio with Daby Toure and Skip McDonald

Years ago I read an account of a group of African men hired to transport supplies on their backs for someone who was exploring in Africa. The explorer set a fast pace, despite the heavy packs the men were carrying. At the end of a week or ten days, the men refused to shoulder their packs, insisting on a lay-over day. When pressed, they said they were "waiting for their spirits to catch up with their bodies."

I've always loved the expression, and find it very true. And it's what I'm doing now: after the push to get MARCHING FOR FREEDOM done, I'm waiting for my spirit to catch up with my body.

Last night I was laying in bed in the dark listening to the radio. I wasn't sleepy, just done with my day, enjoying the stars I could see gleaming through the skylight after days of overcast and rain. I heard the most wonderful program on The Strand on BBC radio. One of the leaders of the World Music scene, Mauritanian musician Daby Toure teamed up with American Bluesman Skip McDonald for an album, "Call My Name." Before playing their song, "Rhythm," Daby Toure introduced it, saying, "For us, rhythm is everywhere. The rhythm is when we walk, when we talk, when we decide things, when we think about things, everything is with rhythm. We have to chose the good one. When you chose the good rhythm, your day is good."

Check it out here at BBC radio. It's about 20 minutes in. I think the BBC only leave their programs up for six or seven days, so take a few minutes soon. I promise, the rhythm of the song will set your day in a whole new direction.

advanced reader copy for Marching for Freedom

You know that feeling you get when you are in a little cabin in the woods and its been windy and maybe rainy and suddenly you realize that the wind has stopped blowing. It is calm. Beautifully, quietly calm. And you know how you pick your head up and wonder, "when did the wind stop blowing? Just now? Or minutes ago and I didn't notice?"

The wind stopped blowing for me... minutes ago. For the last few weeks I have been hard at work on the final fixes on my upcoming book, Marching for Freedom: Walk Together Children, and Don't You Grow Weary. But I haven't been alone. My editor, Catherine Frank, has been reading, shooting me questions, rereading. Strategizing. Asking more questions. Jim Hoover, the designer...well, he's put together the most incredibly beautiful book. I was able to pull together 50 black and white photos of the march from Selma to Montgomery, 1965. Here's a snapshot of some proofs that Jim recently sent me that I put up on the wall of my writing room. He was working on getting the grays just right. Not too warm, not too cool. And the manuscript has also been circulating through the incredible, encylcopedic mind and capable hands of Janet Pascal, catching my most dim-witted errors, and querying jumps or oversights I've made.

While we were doing this, I was also finalizing all the permissions: for the photos, for quotes and music lyrics. Not for the faint hearted, I promise you. But all the worry and work and second-guessing is worth it: today my Advanced Reader Copies came in the mail. I held the book -- well, the pre- book really. (These are what the reviewers will get this spring. It's like a paperback copy of the book. Still missing the index and a few high-res photos.) I ran my hand over the silky-smooth cover. Sniffed it. Thumbed through it. Slowly, very slowly. Greeted each photo like an old friend.

There a few tasks left for each of us, but the book goes off to the printer very soon, and reappears as a real book this fall. Now... in the quiet... the rest of my life is waiting for me.

Here is what happens to my desk when I work this flat-out. Kind of scary, eh? You can see that I have a little clean-up to do now that the winds have stopped blowing!

Manuscript into copy editor!!

It's a sheer pleasure to turn in a manuscript and have it go to copy editing. I know I've wrung every creative drop out of myself that I can, and it is someone else's turn to buff it up. Now I'm working on gathering photos with the designer. I just keep sending the amazing, wonderful photos I find, knowing he will be able to make sense of them, culling out the ones that aren't the best, alighting on ones I'd casually included, but thought were unimportant. (Note the theme here: someone else is hard at work on "my" book! This is actually true all the way along -- the editor has been hard at work, especially the last few months as we passed versions back and forth via email.)

I just had one of those lovely "ah-ha" moments where I discovered a great theme that I can weave into the book, mostly via the images. This makes me very excited. Because images can be so evocative, kids will get a feeling for this theme, a gut level reaction, and it will give them something to think/feel about. More on the details anon.

Meanwhile, I'm home with my cats, who want to lay across the keyboard, and be fed, not necessarily in that order. That's Coyote, un-creatively named for the coyote trap that caught her by the back leg and skinned off her fur when she was a barn cat long ago, before she was rescued by my sister, taken in by me, and mended by her own resilience. (The skin grew back, top to bottom, then the fur came in, top to bottom, except for a thin band around her ankle of shiny scar tissue where she just couldn't make fur anymore). She's a very sweet cat, big on eye contact with her tall, clumsy human companions, and not above an occasional swat at Blackberry, her neer-do-well son, whose tail you see above.

Lois Lowry's magical touch, and how fantasy and non-fiction come from the same place

Lois Lowry has a recent wonderful blog post on July 24th. In a short paragraph she pulls together everything I love about writing: transforming the world into a magical place with imagination, a few twigs and stones, and a paper crane. She condense it all into a few beautiful sentences, ending with her acknowledgment of the ephemeral nature of the process.

Really, this isn't just about writing fantasy. It's about any writing. It's what I do when I'm doing non-fiction: take myself back, back, back there, write with emotion and passion, holding tight to the facts, to what people have said they felt, to how it smelled and looked and sounded. When it goes well, I'm not in the present, sitting hunched over my keyboard, a flurry of paper scraps all around me. I am there, as much as I can be there. I come out of those great writing sessions slightly confused and blinking, like an owlet exposed to sudden bright light.

Check out Lois Lowry's post. She's brilliant. Scroll down to her post, "All Kinds of Narrative."

Kindling Words West, incredible illustrator

Want a look at an exquisite illustrator's site? Check out Catia Chien's website. Her colors will make you all swimmy inside. You will tumble into her illustrations. And the emotion she conveys! How does she do that? Thanks to Katherine Tillotson (another so-beautiful-you-tumble-in illustrator) for the link.

I'm getting ready to go off the Kindling Words West for a week of hanging out with other authors, getting inspired, looking at my writing in a whole new way (no pressure.) We start the retreat with a visit to Ten Thousand Waves for a communal public hot tub Japanese style, under the amazing New Mexico night sky. Then off for a week of encouraging, challenging talks by the funny and wonderful Tim Wynne Jones, and lots of time tucked away in our writing rooms at Ghost Ranch.

Writers: want to laugh-till-you-cry?

Zip over to Elizabeth Bird's wonderful blog on School Library Journal. She's posted a Mitchell and Webb YouTube routine of a writer going over his novel with the editor. Who's making suggestions. Lots of them.

Lest my editor friends feel disparaged, I have to say I found this scene hysterical in a squirmy way because it is like being inside my mind right now, both editor and writer.

Check it out. See what I mean? Ring any bells, writer pals?

St. Francis de Sales school visit

I just had the most awesome school visit at St. Francis de Sales in Sherman Oakes (part of metropolitan Los Angeles). Everyone was terrific. Kind, helpful staff, lots of volunteer parents, and the greatest kids. They were spunky and full of energy -- clearly they've been given lots of support in creative writing, thinking, and speaking up. And my new projector worked just fine -- thanks to all the Gods of Tech for this miracle!

The only group I was a little bit nervous about was my first presentation: 100K-1-2 kids in the auditorium. those auditoriums can be really tough -- they're big, can be noisy, and sometimes it's hard to keep the little wigglers paying attention. But I read one of my books, Pig's Eggs, and we talked about the story, and then using a white board, we brainstormed a story about a dog who felt unloved. We came up with a repetitive phrase "No, no, no!" as he tried to get attention, then became, "Oh, no!" and at the happy ending, "Yes, yes, yes!" 100 enthusiastic kids yelling out "Yes, yes, yes," in the auditorium. Delightful.

To mellow everyone back out, I read my short goodnight book, Moon Glowing, and sent them off.

With the older kids I showed slides of photos from my biographies and talked about my writing process, and the people I did the biographies on, and used a couple of really cool photos as prompts to get them to do a quick write. Just to get the idea that nothing is perfect when you start. In the immortal words of Bruce Coville (who had just been here two years earlier), "Barf on the page." Always good advice, no matter where you are in the writing process.

Speaking at SCBWI and CLC

Yesterday I had the amazing experience of speaking at two different conferences, both on biography, both in LA, not far from one another.

First up was Children's Literature Council of Southern California, to a group of mostly-librarians. Diane Stanley, who both illustrates and writes her books, was the first speaker. She was incredible. The details she puts in her work are amazing. Susan Goldman Rubin followed Diane. As she explained, her biographies stem from her two interests, Judaism, and creative, artistic people. Both incredible women, wonderful speakers. I went third, and somehow our total was more than the sum of our parts.

I was camera-less, but Lisa Yee, who is always a blast to be around, took great photos, and had her famous little yellow bunny, Peepy, enjoying the conference and making mischief. You can even catch a picture of Peepy peeking out from behind my head on Lisa's funny and touching blog.

A big shout-out to all the organizers of the conference, especially Pamela Greene, Helen Boomer, and Laurie Reese, who moderated.

Then I drove over to SBWI Southern California's conference (miraculously not getting lost) and did a presentation on biography for writers. More focus on how-tos, and who-does-what and what-I-learned-the-hard-way. Another terrific audience, despite the wilting heat. Stupendous organizing, especially by Claudia Harrington (so mellow and grounded) and Edie Pagliasotti (enough love and hugs to make the world go round.)

Writer's retreat, another illustrator at work

I'm just back from a week away at a writer's retreat. We're a small group -- this time there were six of us. Anna Grossnickle Hines, Gary Hines, Patricia Wittman, Tom Birdseye, Suzanne Johnson, and me. We write in the mornings, write again after lunch, take a long walk, then dinner and critiquing or a movie. Lots of laughing and chocolate eating are an important part of the week, of course! We keep the costs down by meeting at Anna and Gary's house in the Mendocino woods. We take turns cooking, then Patty (dubbed Dr. Stretchology for her incredible way with leftovers), orchestrates whatever remains in the fridge into a gourmet feast.

Anna Grossnickle Hines was finishing up some art work, caught on camera by her husband Gary. We had a extra raucously celebratory night when the first review of her new book came in. Starred review for 1,2, buckle My Shoe! Time for more chocolate for everyone! Here's Anna's story of how she put together her book. (Note especially the adorable Violet!)

And a terrific shout-out for Buckle My Shoe (with great images of the interior) on Seven Impossible Things Before Breakfast. And to read how Jules and Eisha came up with their great blog name, check them out right here. Yes, related to the clever White Queen.

I laid out my roughy-toughy pre-first draft on my clean desk and tried to make sense of what I am doing. Standing back to look at the big picture is always really hard for me. It looks so neat and organized all laid out like this, doesn't it? I brought to the group after dinner one night, laid it on on the dining room table and told them the whole story. They listened, questioned, made lots of positive noises, then put the blender on frappe and came up with suggestions -- lots of them -- about how to make it better.

No picture of me sitting in bed the next morning, tea mug in hand, dazed look, mind buzzing with ideas. I'd written myself into some kind of corner, attached to everything I'd already done (if it worked or not!) and now my imagination has been set free to roam in new ways through the manuscript.

Thanks to all for a lovely week, and the thoughtful suggestions.

New East Asian library open at UC Berkeley

The new and beautiful East Asian Library has opened on UC Berkeley's campus. I'm really looking forward to going to see it. They have a huge number of very, very, very old books, and now access to them will be easier. It's a great acknowledgment of our place here on the Pacific Rim.

For my book, John Lennon: All I Want is the Truth, I did research at this library a couple of years ago, when it was small and cramped and had a lovely smell of old books and dust. I couldn't find my way around the shelves at all -- nothing was in English -- but with help of the librarians I was able to request an old issue of Bungei Shunju magazine from the depths of storage. Yoko Ono had written a wonderful article in the magazine about herself and her art work. I had it translated by a Japanese woman, Kyoko K. Bischof, and found it a very revealing self-portrait of Yoko. Which was great, as so much about John Lennon and Yoko is half truths, or out and out untruths that have been repeated over and over again. Love those primary sources!

And much older than Yoko's article, here is a poem I have over my desk by Izumi Shikibu.

In this world
love has no color-
but how deeply
my body
is stained by yours.

ADHD and good Feng Shui in my writing space

Ever since I heard of the label, ADHD -- Attention Deficient Hyperactivity Disorder -- I thought it probably described me pretty well. I come from a family full of people who can't say the alphabet from A to Z, can't remember appointments, can't sit still, but are full of genius ideas about how to take photographs or put together scanning tunneling electronic microscopes. We've got a couple math geniuses and a few who can't add simple numbers. Spelling in my family is totally random.

Wonder about yourself? check out this easy self administered test with a few simple questions. I scored really, really well.

And then there is my son who never went to class as an undergrad, but preferred to just do the reading and show up for exams. And why didn't he go to class? "The professors talk too slow." Actually, honey, it's that your mind is going too fast.

The good thing about being ADHD is that it frees your mind to run in really interesting directions. The tough part is putting it all together in a logical way.

Fortunately, I have an awesome, amazing friend, Sydney, who loves good Feng Shui. She is determined to help me in my kinetic quest to get my writing done by helping me set up a comfortable, efficient work space. Syd's into clean, non-cluttered desk space and just had some brain waves about how to redo my office. I wish I had a "before" picture so you could see how totally different it looks. but... AH. New space.

The joy of getting a totally wonky first draft done

I've just hit one of the most amazing points in writing a book: I've finished my crappy first draft. This isn't a draft that I'd be willing to show my editor, or even anyone else. Far, far cry from that.

This is the draft where I start trying for some semblance of order. I'm a very intuitive, free-form writer. So I start writing by what my lovely friend Bruce Coville calls "barfing on the page." And another pal, Deborah Brodie, more tastefully calls "dessert first." (Funny that they are both eating/un-eating metaphors.) The basic idea is just get something down. Write down snippets of scenes, put bits of character tags down. You can do the hard work later.

Then after I have masses and masses of this stuff, I start trying to arrange it which is absolutely my weak point as a writer. (and as a human, I have to honestly say.) I write up big charts on a huge piece of butcher paper taped on my wall, I go through stacks of post-its. I whine a lot during this stage. And despair. Eat huge amounts of chocolate, the darker the better.

Then I begin putting everything in some kind of order. So I've got scenes in first person and scenes in third. Characters inexplicably come and go, and my main character has a split personality from having so many different, weird issues. There are giant, looming empty spots and optimistic little notes that begin with "TK" journalist speak for To Come. (Don't ask me about the TK/TC thing, because I have no idea.) Last year I took a class from Dennis Foley (very kick-ass, no whining allowed) at Writers.com and this was one of his helpful hints. Put in TK -- you can search for it later -- and keep moving.

So now I have 59,997 words, of which probably 58,997 will need to be replaced at least once and probably two or three times, but I have a START.

Next up: another Bruce-ism: "run your character up a tree and throw rocks at her." I've done that. Now, I'm clueless how to get her down more-or-less in one piece.

How do you do this novel writing? Laurie Halse Anderson and Neil Gaiman

Now that I'm working on a novel, I'm racked with insecurities. Can I do it? How do you do it? How do other people do it?

I find other writers' blogs very comforting. Laurie Halse Anderson recently left a character writhing on the cutting room floor, and found her novel is better off for it.

Here's her answer to a query asking if it was hard:

"The different parts of the writing process feel like different countries to me. The etiquette and customs of one country is extremely different from the next. In the early drafts, I include everything that falls into my head and I love it all. I could never cut out a character at that stage. When I get to later drafts, that changes. The only thing that matters is what works best for the story. if I fall in love a character and she doesn't work in the story, she's gets cut. I can always send her flowers, take her to the movies, or go out for coffee with her. But if she isn't a vital thread in the fabric of the story, out she goes."

Neil Gaiman took a huge, anxious leap away from home to get a grip on his novel, then returned with something (pages? confidence?), to home and garden shed and family, and finished.

Here's a bit from a recent blog of his, answering the question of how he writes:

"The truth is, as the truth about so much is in writing, that there are no rules, and even a writer who normally does things one way doesn't have to be consistent. You do what produces pages. You keep moving forward. If I'm really stuck on a scene I'll sometimes skip to the next scene I DO know how to write, and often by the end, the solution to the one I was stuck on is obvious, or I can't even remember why it was a problem." Check out Neil Gaiman's blog for more.

Helpful. Comforting. How we all twitch around and get mental space for some parts of the writing and listen and imagine and then get ruthless and use a different part of our brain to rewrite and then send off what we've done to our trusty editors and sit on pins and needles till we hear what is good and what is rotten and we make the changes we can make and send it back again and try to forget all those wonderful characters we spent so much time with. We take to hanging out in cafes without a stricken look on our faces and go to yoga and see friends who probably though we'd died or been incarcerated and pay our ignored, overdue bills.

And then? Start the whole damn thing over again.